I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the concept of intention. Now, I suppose intention is a broad scope. In terms of medical practice or even in my field (massage), the meaning of intention is more about the goal of a treatment or a movement, and what you intend to have happen. There is the idea of working with intention, as in not being distracted or somewhere else mentally. I see these meanings and although they are all strokes with the same brush, the concept of intention I have been thinking about is more of a “What are you hoping to get out of this?” and “What is the domino effect you see happening as a result of the action?” The root question then being “What is the intention?”
Living in a world of social media, text messages, instant communication, ability to share daily goings on and pictures of us, our lifestyle and our activities; what is the intention? Because, whether good or bad, there is a root intention behind every action.
When I message a friend a random text that pertains to some inside joke or something I know they would like or laugh at, my intention is simple and doesn’t really need dissected. I thought of them, I like them, I think they would have a laugh or feel some warm fuzzy at the message, and I have no expectations beyond sharing the joy or information. Maybe my intent is to maintain the connection and drop the proverbial shiny rock at their feet, to show I am here, I care and I see them. But it is, at its core, altruistic.
Where intention does start to get a little murky is in the realm of social media and with connections that are questionable to begin with. If I post a picture of a hike I did, am I bragging? Am I sharing my lived experience? Am I showing others things they too might be interested in? Am I seeking approval or admiration? Is it looking to inspire, share or just simply document? Many things can be true.
A post of an accomplishment can be sharing and it can be inspiring, but it can also be a bid for attention or approval. Not saying any of that is bad. Who doesn’t want to be seen or validated in some capacity? But is the intention genuine or actually for the praise? None are necessarily bad, just interesting to consider.
I don’t post on social media as much as I used to and many of my Facebook “memories” are cringy to me now. But perhaps at the time, I was looking for attention/approval/validation, or maybe I was just sharing. If one is on a fitness journey and they share progress pictures and information is that wrong? Not really. It may keep them accountable. It may keep them motivated. It may inspire and encourage others. It may also gain haters and resentment and unkind comments. (Which also; what is the hater’s intention? To shame? To knock someone down a notch? Seems a bit like a “them” problem).
But say you want to send a message to someone you hardly know, but are friendly with; is the intention to create a new friendship? To open the line of communication? To get attention or seek interest from them? Neither are inherently good or bad, just the consideration of the intention is the question. When my buddy sends me a picture of some product they saw at a store they they know I’d get a kick out of and I send a thumbs up and that is the whole interaction, the message intent is clear: I saw this and thought of you. Cool, thanks. We are in a solid relationship, I do not have to continue this thread and I’ll see you/talk to you later.
If I send a client a referral to something we discussed, they say thanks. That interaction is also clear in it’s intent: I said I’d show you this, here it is, I am a nice person who keeps their word. Thank-you, I see that you are to be trusted and are kind but, as we are not friends, this interaction is done for now. Clear intention. Clear boundaries.
The murky part of intention is the posting, messaging or interacting for deeper and more salacious reasons. Whether real or imagined, intentions can certainly be misinterpreted. A message at 11 pm may have hidden meaning to the recipient and the sender may not have even considered that. The reach out to someone after years or months may be innocent reminiscence or have a far more nefarious objective.
Am I an over thinker? Yes, obviously. But I have found that really considering intention has made me pause and really consider the ambition behind a behavior. Seeking attention, validation and acceptance is human and normal. We crave connection and love. Most posts online are arguably some variation of “look how attractive/interesting/funny I am”. Not in a negative light at all! But truly, are we not all reaching out in any capacity for connection, validation or love? Are we not, at a baseline saying “here is my face/experience/joke/thought, I hope you like it (and therefore like me)”?
So I find myself often considering intention. It does hold me back sometimes. I often want to send a message to an acquaintance I hardly know because I saw some show that relates to something we talked about. I often just send a reel or meme to a client or rarely seen friend because it did actually make me think of them or something we discussed at one time or another. And my intention is generally always pure and with no further motivation. The question arises when I have to sit with whether or not the intention is actually just that action of sharing, or if I am trying to create some discourse or social familiarity between us. Am I trying to open a friendship? Am I wanting to start some back and forth with this person? Am I bored or seeking some connection I can fulfill within myself or through other relationships I already have?
This all is not especially important, and a little convoluted. I just use the idea of intention as a guideline sometimes and as a way to see a few steps into the future. I use it as a tool to gain self awareness and maybe even see where my spirit is lacking, or at least questioning. And we obviously can not predict how others might interpret our intentions either. That is a whole other topic! I could literally send you a meme with all good intent and no further meanings that I am considering, and you could experience a whole other message behind it. I guess that is always the risk too. This may occur most specifically between near strangers and especially those of the opposite sex (or potential romantic partners, same or opposite sex).
Even for this post. Is my intention sorting through thoughts and sharing insight that I find helpful or is it to imply that I am somehow especially self aware and thoughtful? Yes.
