In getting back out dating, I had not really considered what it is that I do for fun. I can’t even think that I’ve really thought about it for the last couple decades even. Once being asked the question of what I do for fun, I started to realize that I didn’t really know, and that perhaps I am actually quite dull.
When considering “fun”, I think I’ve had the idea that someone who is “fun”, drinks and smokes and does adrenaline sports. Maybe this view is from movies and TV. Or maybe my childhood; where my parents (who are obviously lame!) didn’t do any of that stuff, so therefore the opposite is what is cool and fun!
I was never one for parties or the club. I use to go dance in my early 20’s, and had no money, so didn’t really drink anything but water. (For the record, I would probably have to be drunk now, to go dance all night!) I have had fun times, as far as I’m concerned, but never in the way that made me think of myself as the “fun one” or the one who shuts the place down.
I’ve never so much as held a cigarette to my mouth, and beyond having tattoos and more than a couple earring holes (that are not really the call of the wild anymore), I am not a rebel in pretty much any way. I don’t know what it feels like to be high on any type of drug, and haven’t been falling down drunk more than a few times in my life.
Is this what fun is? Likely not. Surely not! How was I to tell prospective mates that I own a label maker that has working batteries and a new spool of label tape? That I pretty much bake when I’m bored, and sometimes get up earlier on my days off than the days that I work? Or that I generally like movies and running and have a kickass cookbook collection? I lift weights and like yoga (flow only please, because I’m wild and know how to have a good time!)
I would rather ride my bike for 4 hours at a decent clip, than attempt to learn to snowboard. I don’t watch much TV and likely haven’t seen the cool shows, but I swear in conversation (only in recent adulthood, though because swearing can get you a soap mouth if you don’t know what’s good for you, girl!)
I like to talk with friends and can gab for hours and hours about everything and nothing, with my friends. I like to hear about things, but mostly about feelings and thoughts. I like dark humor and deep conversation. I do not enjoy large groups or schmoozing. I realized pretty quickly that I maybe am not a fun and easy date. I don’t know if I have cool stories or interesting details. I really like good food and good coffee but is that a hobby?
I can sew and crochet; does that get your juices flowing? I like a lot of music but also don’t even know that I like live concerts all that much; and a music festival sounds like a people filled nightmare with not enough water or comfortable chairs.
But then the question was proposed to me; “Why are your interests the boring ones?” Maybe the other person is actually ‘boring’ in regards to my interests! Maybe I am totally cool and fine in my own right and I don’t need to party and drink, or be into late nights at the club or base jumping! Maybe running and baking and organizing shit like a boss, are my ideas of a fucking good time and dude better pull out some more skills and hobbies than drinking and watching hockey!
And that’s when I realized that a good time is what a good time is, to the haver of the fun! My hour at the gym may be your watching the playoffs in the pub. My joy in arranging the spices may be your pub crawl. Maybe a small dinner party with under 8 people is my Shambala! And I am okay with that now. Now I am the lame parent…and I am super fun!
Periscopecake 